Dreams

It is 5:15 p.m. on Friday afternoon and I am sitting in my cubicle, still at work. Of course, as you can tell from this blog being published, I am not actually working, but waiting to get picked up.

Over the course of even the past year, I have had a multitude of dreams regarding my future career path. And every once in a while, I wonder if there is something wrong with this constantly changing vision of my life. But lately, I think I made a decision - the direction is more important than the destination.

A year and a half ago, I wanted to eventually become a CEO, and be a leader in social responsibility. A year ago, I refined that that to becoming a business consultant. And now, as of the last few weeks being in my job, I decided that I want to be a business consultant dealing specifically with strategy, and specializing in social responsibility as strategy.

The reason that I don't think it really matters to I keep changing my focus (and probably will continue to do so for a while!) is that it hasn't changed my direction. On the contrary, in heading down a certain direction, I learn more about myself and my passions and my interests and skill set.

For a long time, it was discouraging to not know where I was going, or how to get there. But over time, I really just kept trusting God for the next step, and He always delivered, even if it wasn't a big picture of the future, the next step was always evident.

It was exactly a month ago that I came to Magna IV, had my interview, and said to my friends, "this is my dream job, I really hope they hire me." I didn't know exactly what it entailed, but I knew it was the right direction.

So, I guess the moral of this long, rambly blog is that sometimes we don't need to see very far down the path to get where we need to go. We only need to know the direction and the next step. Life was never meant to be about the destination, so enjoy the journey.

Frustrations Designed to Provoke Thought

Several frustrations have been on my mind lately, and I need to cleanse my mind and get them out there. Hopefully you can either relate and see hope that you are not alone, OR you can help me get out of this rut I am in.

First...

Does anyone else find it hard to get over the past? We go through these sucky events in our lives, and the consequences of them creep into our present, and suddenly we realize that we are moderately messed up in our view of the world or ourselves or whatever.

So how do we get over it? How do we get past our irrational fears?

Second...

For years and years and years, I dreamed of the day I would graduate from university and get a real job. But now that I'm there, even though I do love my job, it doesn't give the type of satisfaction that I was expecting. And my frustration is not with the lack of satisfaction I have from becoming an official "career girl," it is more with the fact that I thought that contentment resided in something outside of God.

You know, there are SO many things that we think will complete our lives and give us that ever elusive "happiness." But true contentment only comes from a relationship with God. And it frustrates me that I continually think I am going to find it elsewhere! Because now that I am working, there are so many other FUTURE events that I have my sights set on (getting a car, moving out, getting my MBA - yeah, more school, crazy me) that I still see contentment and happiness as something in the future.

But, as I know in my head, I have everything I need to be content right now. And I've always had it.

The frustration comes from the fact that my heart doesn't always listen to my head on such matters. And as long as I think that happiness and contentment reside somewhere other than now, that is exactly where they will be. Not here, not now. Always tomorrow...

News!

So, I usually attempt to refrain from being self-indulgent on my blog, but today I figured I would use this as an outlet for sharing the recent news of the life-changing events of my life.

Last Monday, I wrote the last final exam of my Bachelor of Commerce degree.

Today I accepted a position at an engineering firm as a business planner. My official title is "Management Assistant," and my job will consist of driving along some changes at the firm. I know that is not a great description, but if you are interested in hearing more, just send me an email and I can digress!

Eight years out of high school, I have my first official "real" job!