What is it with humans and our desperate need to procrastinate?
If I were to think scientifically outside of myself and observe my own study behaviour, it would be quite peculiar.
During the first few weeks of school, when there are not really any exams or assignments, I'm so on top of things, studying after each class, reading the textbook beforehand, etc. Not much motivation is required.
And now... a few weeks into classes, I've already written three midterms, and I've got one Monday morning at 9 a.m. I don't study on Sundays, and I have to be somewhere at 6 p.m. tonight (Saturday). At about 4:30 p.m. I've printed off all the notes I need to memorize and suddenly I develop this huge urge to play the guitar. So, we're talking about an hour max left of studying time and I go amuse myself with something else.
Why is it like that?
I mean, really... I did get all my studying done. (The Holy Roman Empire was established in 962... Henry II's reforms were 1154) It's all up here (picture me pointing to my head). And I'm good. But why did I spend more time taking breaks than actually working?
A rambling of thoughts, ideas and reflections from and on the life of a girl who's just trying to figure everything out and somehow wants to change the world.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Attempted Definition
I'm not a religious person.
Of course, if you were to examine my life and then read the sociological definition of religious, you would think I was.
But I've been challenged to really examine how to define this "relationship" I have with God.
Studying European history has been quite eye-opening. The popes had all sorts of weird rules and power trips. Huge motivation for the Crusades was the Crusaders were guaranteed "forgiveness of sins" for recapturing the Holy Land.
I look on this stuff, and it makes me sick.
So what is this God-thing all about in my life?
It can't just be about going to heaven when I die. Because that is most likely 60 years away... and what value is there between now and then?
When Jesus died on the cross, He managed to wipe all the crap out of my life. I do crappy things. I'm not a good person. But Jesus took the consequence of that.
And because of that, I'm perfect in God's eyes. And that means I can have an actual friendship with Him.
And that makes me sound like a lunatic. But I believe it's true.
Friendship with God has it's perks. There's always someone to listen to me. I can trust that He has a plan for my life even when the picture looks bleak. I've got this whole family of other "wackos" who believe God is real who are like a family - and we support each other and share the good stuff and the bad stuff of life with. I can be honest with God because He already knows the truth.
Before this starts to sound like some cheesy list...
I'll admit I do go to church... but it's because I want to, not because I have to.
Okay... those are just some random ramblings. Maybe when I'm a little less tired, I can more fully develop these thoughts.
Of course, if you were to examine my life and then read the sociological definition of religious, you would think I was.
But I've been challenged to really examine how to define this "relationship" I have with God.
Studying European history has been quite eye-opening. The popes had all sorts of weird rules and power trips. Huge motivation for the Crusades was the Crusaders were guaranteed "forgiveness of sins" for recapturing the Holy Land.
I look on this stuff, and it makes me sick.
So what is this God-thing all about in my life?
It can't just be about going to heaven when I die. Because that is most likely 60 years away... and what value is there between now and then?
When Jesus died on the cross, He managed to wipe all the crap out of my life. I do crappy things. I'm not a good person. But Jesus took the consequence of that.
And because of that, I'm perfect in God's eyes. And that means I can have an actual friendship with Him.
And that makes me sound like a lunatic. But I believe it's true.
Friendship with God has it's perks. There's always someone to listen to me. I can trust that He has a plan for my life even when the picture looks bleak. I've got this whole family of other "wackos" who believe God is real who are like a family - and we support each other and share the good stuff and the bad stuff of life with. I can be honest with God because He already knows the truth.
Before this starts to sound like some cheesy list...
I'll admit I do go to church... but it's because I want to, not because I have to.
Okay... those are just some random ramblings. Maybe when I'm a little less tired, I can more fully develop these thoughts.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Procrastinator Supreme
I'm supposed to be studying right now.
But it's the end of Reading Week and I haven't done any work, so why start now?
I suppose my Monday morning midterm is a good reason...
Why do we work so hard for grades anyway? It's all about scholarships... but seriously, money from scholarships will probably just get blown anyway and looking back on today, I'll have wished I spent the day walking outside rather than sitting in this library study room on my laptop. Well, I'm not sitting on my laptop... more with my laptop.
Or I'll wish I'd spent more time talking to my friend Ruth studying so diligently across from me... the truth is that she doesn't want to be studying any more than I do right now. But here we are.
And, history is really interesting. So if I could just get over my laziness, I would learn something interesting.
Okay, time to hit the books...
But it's the end of Reading Week and I haven't done any work, so why start now?
I suppose my Monday morning midterm is a good reason...
Why do we work so hard for grades anyway? It's all about scholarships... but seriously, money from scholarships will probably just get blown anyway and looking back on today, I'll have wished I spent the day walking outside rather than sitting in this library study room on my laptop. Well, I'm not sitting on my laptop... more with my laptop.
Or I'll wish I'd spent more time talking to my friend Ruth studying so diligently across from me... the truth is that she doesn't want to be studying any more than I do right now. But here we are.
And, history is really interesting. So if I could just get over my laziness, I would learn something interesting.
Okay, time to hit the books...
Thursday, February 24, 2005
The First-Ever Blog
I suppose my first blog post should have something super profound and intelligent, but let's be serious... it's the first one.
Why am I blogging? Well... I was inspired by the drummer of the band downhere who challenged us all to do our own blogs. Something about Christians should be blogging... and let's be serious - anytime someone says "A good Christian should..." I do it... Yeah, right. In fact, it's usually the opposite and I rebel against the idea. But, for some reason, not this time.
I like to write. And perhaps one day I will publish a book... and perhaps this is where I will gain my following. Or not. But seriously, as a writer, I'm supposed to be journalling... and although we are instructed to keep private journals that no one can look at, the real point in writing is so we can change the world.
So if I shoot my thoughts off into cyberspace, maybe the world will change.
But maybe not. I guess it's all in God's hands.
Because who reads these things anyway?
That is it for my first-ever blog post.
Pretty snazzy.
Why am I blogging? Well... I was inspired by the drummer of the band downhere who challenged us all to do our own blogs. Something about Christians should be blogging... and let's be serious - anytime someone says "A good Christian should..." I do it... Yeah, right. In fact, it's usually the opposite and I rebel against the idea. But, for some reason, not this time.
I like to write. And perhaps one day I will publish a book... and perhaps this is where I will gain my following. Or not. But seriously, as a writer, I'm supposed to be journalling... and although we are instructed to keep private journals that no one can look at, the real point in writing is so we can change the world.
So if I shoot my thoughts off into cyberspace, maybe the world will change.
But maybe not. I guess it's all in God's hands.
Because who reads these things anyway?
That is it for my first-ever blog post.
Pretty snazzy.
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